Wishful Promises
by ellezan
Summary: "All the happiness and excitement from earlier were long gone – in their place there now were agony and pain. And they felt something they haven't felt in a long time: despair." A story about life, love and the unexpected. Ezria\Haleb\Spoby\Emaya - No A
1. Chapter 1

A finger sliding down the side of his face made him stir in his sleep. She hated waking him up, but she really wanted to wish him good luck on his first day in his new job. She couldn't help the giggle that left her lips when her nail that grazed along his nose caused it to twitch cutely. She knew it was mean, but she did again anyway, only to gasp in surprise and shriek when her finger ended up between his teeth and his own fingers were tickling her sides.

"Ezra, stop!" Her giggles intensified as he rolled them both over, caging her in his arms. She would've kept wiggling around if it wasn't for his lips that came down to kiss hers. She kissed him back softly, her arms wrapping around his neck as she enjoyed their morning ritual.

Her eyes opened when he pulled away, and she smiled up at him. It's been three years since the day they married, and almost ten years since they first met, and she was still in love with him as she was that first day when they made out in the pub's bathroom. "As much as I love waking up to you tickling my face," he kissed her nose and she giggled, "why does it have to be so early in the morning?"

Aria smiled sheepishly, shooting a glance at the clock on the wall behind him that read 6:35. "I know baby, I'm sorry. I just really wanted to wish you good luck today, and I'm meeting the girls in an hour for breakfast. I didn't want to leave without kissing you goodbye…" She leaned up to capture his lips once more, before pulling away.

"In an hour? You mean, 7:30? _AM?_" She chuckled at his surprised voice and shook her head. It really was unusual, they never met so early, especially on a Saturday, but Spencer had to go to work earlier than usual today, so they had to meet earlier than usual if they wanted to squeeze in their weekly shopping spree after breakfast.

He smiled lovingly at her, his hand pushing a strand of hair out of her face. She was so beautiful… He couldn't get over the fact she was actually glowing, and his fingers quickly moved down to her flat abdomen, caressing the place where their current secret lay. Being with her was a 24/7 adventure. He shook his head, "How did I get so lucky to marry such an amazing woman?"

She looked at him thoughtfully, "You know, I really don't know…"

His response was to tickle her some more.

* * *

><p>Aria was nervously tapping her fingers on the table. She was sitting in their usual table at the café, waiting anxiously for the girls to arrive. She was a little early, yes, but the girls were now almost ten minutes late. Hanna, she could believe, but Emily and especially Spencer, were never late. She blew out a piece of hair that fell over her eye, cursing their timing. Today was too important a day for them to be late…<p>

Soon enough, Emily walked through the door, her usual cheerful face on. Aria couldn't resist getting up to hug her, forgetting all about her earlier irritation at her friends' tardiness. She did just get back from her and Maya's late honeymoon a few days ago, and she really missed her.

Not a minute into Emily's story about the small island in Hawaii where they spent their honeymoon, the girls were joined by a beaming Spencer. Aria noticed her friend's expression, and couldn't help but wonder if she's not the only one with an announcement today.

A couple of more minutes of laughter and catching up, an unusually somber Hanna entered the café. Aria followed her third best friend with her eyes, and seemed to be the only one who noticed her odd behavior as she sank into the chair to Aria's left. Instead of greeting her enthusiastically like her other two friends did, Aria reached under the table to touch her blonde friend's knee discretely. Shooting Hanna a questioning look, she was a little startled by the tired eyes that didn't really match the reassuring smile that served as an answer. She shook it off, and the girls continued on in their conversation about their everyday lives.

After graduating from high school, all four girls went to college in Los Angeles, California, and brought along their respective beaus: Hanna studied fashion and interior design, and now owned her own boutique in Rodeo Drive – her favorite movie was "Pretty Woman", after all… – while Caleb went on to study technology and was now working in a prestigious hi-tech company; needless to say, neither had to worry about their income. They were living together in a spacious loft that Hanna styled, of course.

Aria studied literature and took a creative writing course, although her artistic upbringing drove her into also studying architecture, and eventually she decided she wanted to do it for a living. She was still writing every once in a while, but mainly for her own creative outlet. Ezra was teaching in a local high school ever since their move to California seven years ago, but for the past few months he has been feeling like he accomplished everything he could as a teacher. He wanted a change; while he loved teaching, and enjoyed working with the kids, he wanted to be more involved in the creative process of writing, and so today he was starting his new job as a junior editor in a publishing company. Aria and Ezra married when she graduated college three years ago. They never told her parents the real circumstances of how they first met, Aria simply surprised them in a dinner celebrating mike's 18th birthday, when she showed up with Ezra and introduced him as her boyfriend. She was 20 then, and living in California, so she figured the worst that could happen was her parents being mad for a while. She was right, but they were actually mad because she didn't call to tell them "the moment it happened" – which, according to her, happened a couple of months into her third year of college.

Spencer was studying to be a doctor, and was currently an intern, with intentions of becoming an OB/GYN. She was living with Toby, who surprisingly, chose medicine as a career as well. He was studying to be an oncologist. Both being very competitive people, they pushed each other to excel, and despite their hectic schedules, actually managed to see each other quite often, seeing as they both worked at the same hospital. The money wasn't all too great, but having been born into wealthy families, allowed them to not care about the income and focus on improving themselves and succeeding in their jobs.

Emily went on to get a swimming scholarship and study social studies, quickly deciding she wanted to be a social worker. She was living with her first and last love, Maya, who became a realtor agent. The two got married several months ago, but only recently went on their long-awaited honeymoon, because Emily couldn't take time off right after the wedding.

Some time between their third cup of coffee and the check, Aria, Emily and Spencer all exclaimed, "I have an announcement to make!"

Hanna looked up in surprise, setting down her coffee and trying not to choke on the hot liquid, only to find the three girls laughing at their amazingly well-synchronized timing. Hanna offered a small smile, the only one who was awfully quiet during the whole exchange of "you go first", "no, you go first". "Well, what is it?" She asked over the three excited voices, a little too impatiently, but the other girls never noticed.

It was finally decided that Spencer would go first, then Emily, then Aria – Spencer's idea: they would speak in a clock-wise order.

"Well," Spencer looked down for a minute and pulled something out of her jeans pocket, and doing something with it under the table. When she finally pulled out her hands, a simple, sparkly engagement ring with a single diamond, rested on her left ring finger. The girls al gasped, catching on, but Spencer waited a full two days to tell them, so she just had to say it – plus, she liked how it sounded: "Toby asked me to marry him!" The 25 years old girl was beaming and wiggling her fingers in front of her now shrieking friends.

Obviously, it was followed by the entire proposal story, and Spencer's smile lit up the room as she recalled Toby taking her up to the roof of the hospital, where they would both like unwind after long and tiring shifts. It was a horrible day for her, there was a serious car accident, and two patients died on her, one of which was just a 4 year old kid. But when she got to the roof, the entire concrete was covered with candles spelling out "Will you marry me, Spencer?" She was shocked, and amazed, and she wanted to jump into his arms and scream "YES!" but when she turned to him, all that came out was a scold for covering the entire helipad with candles – what if a medical helicopter needed to land there?

The three girls laughed, it was just like her to say something like this when she was being proposed to. Good thing Toby loved her regardless – or, also for – her nerdy, way too logical and over-analyzed thinking. "We haven't set a date yet, or really decided anything but one thing," and with that Spencer's eyes moved to land on Hanna, "I want you to plan our wedding. I know you always wanted to, and you have such great taste – you're the only one I would trust with this, Hanna." Her hand touched Hanna's, and the blonde's eyes widened and filled with tears.

"What? Really?" At Spencer's nod, Hanna shook her head. "Wow, Spence, you have no idea how much it means to me that you asked me…" Resting her own hand on top of hers, Hanna seemed to be too emotional to talk, so she pulled her brunette friend in for a hug. "Of course I'll do it."

Aria and Emily looked at each other excitedly, feeling a little emotional as well. As much as she tried to disguise it, Hanna was always a little more insecure than the rest of them. She didn't really like to study, and didn't accomplish half the things her friends did. Even though she was an incredible designer and actually did well in school because finally she found something she was passionate about, she always felt a little less successful. But her amazing three best friends always supported her and encouraged her, and not once did they make her feel any less worthy. She loved them.

She just wondered how much longer she would have to carry that act of enthusiasm. Of course she was happy for her friend, and she would be excited for the remaining two girls as well, once they've told their stories. But.. she just hated the fact that her news would dampen the great mood they were all in. The anxiousness was killing her, and she willed this part of the morning to pass so she'd be done with it and be able to just tell them what was on her heart.

Once the girls settled down and the excitement wore off, it was Emily's turn. "Maya and I have been talking about buying a house, and for the last few months we have been looking at houses, but you already know that. The thing is, we didn't like any of them, because we have a very specific taste. So a few weeks ago Maya actually stumbled across a property which was perfect for us.. because it's just a land, a very inexpensive land, which we bought and are going to build our dream house on!" The girls replied with loud yells of excitement yet again, and Emily laughed before continuing, "And Aria, I hope you already know you're getting the job." The laughter intensified and the two girls were hugging as soon as the words "OF COURSE!" left Aria's mouth.

Aria was still so riled up from the first couple of news that she just couldn't contain it any longer, and shared her piece of news, "Girls.. I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're going to be busier than you thought you'd be, because Ezra and I are having a baby, and as his/her aunties, you have to help me prepare for the birth in the six months that's left before he/she get here…" When she was finished with her short speech, the three girls were already out of their chairs and hugging her. She laughed and tried to contain her tears.

For the first time, ever since she found out with Ezra a month ago, she let herself feel completely happy and relaxed. They've kept it for themselves for so long because Aria was too freaked out something bad would happen, that she wanted to keep it a secret until her second trimester started. Now, feeling a little more confident and a little less scared, it really dawned on her.

"You girls are the first to know, after Ezra, of course. We didn't even tell our parents yet!" The girls were back in their seats now, "I wanted to wait it out, I thought it'd be best to tell people once we're past the first trimester… So, do you girls want to meet your future nephew/niece?" Aria smiled brightly and pulled out scans from their recent sonogram, proudly showing off her little bundle of joy she and Ezra were calling their Peanut.

"Wow, Aria… I can't believe a little creature is living inside you," Hanna said with an amazed smile. "It almost sounds gross," Emily laughed and Spencer swatted her arm just as Hanna was giving the scan back to a still smiling Aria. For that minute, Aria actually saw the normal Hanna again, not the distressed one that entered the café an hour ago.

"Hey Han, now you can launch a baby collection!" Emily's voice sounded, and the girls all joined in on the fabulous idea.

Hanna shook her head, "Only if you want it to come out by the time Spoby's baby gets here," she was way too busy. The girls laughed at the couple's name Hanna came up with, and Hanna actually felt okay for a few moments. But then she remembered she had her own news to share. Her voice became quieter as she continued, "I've got to plan their wedding, and do chemo, and I'm getting ready to open my store in NYC…" She quickly reached for her coffee and swallowed the last few gulps before she would have to answer the ray of questions she felt would follow her unexpected news.

It took a moment before her friends realized what she said, and everyone stopped what they were doing. She could feel all eyes on her, and silence fell on the group of friends. She knew it was inevitable, so she set down her cup with a sigh and lifted her teary eyes to meet the ones of her best friends. No one said a word, and she could speak only when she felt Emily's hand clutch hers from across the table. "A few weeks ago, I had my annual mammography. The doctor looked a little too serious than usual, and.. she told me she saw a lump, and she wanted to do a biopsy…" A tear was sliding down her cheek, and she could hear the three other girls sniffling around her. By now, they all had a comforting hold on her in one way or another. She gained enough courage to look up from where her eyes rested on her plate. "I have breast cancer." She whispered, broken. "And I don't know how to tell Caleb." Now she was openly sobbing onto Spencer's shoulder.

Aria, Emily and Spencer all looked to each other in an attempt to find the answers Hanna so desperately needed. Their own tears continued flowing as Hanna's heart-breaking cries cut through them. All the happiness and excitement from earlier were long gone – in their place there now were agony and pain. And they felt something they haven't felt in a long time: despair.


	2. Chapter 2

Aria let out a defeated sigh. She was currently surrounded by racks of baby clothes, shelves filled with baby items, toys, car seats and strollers. Emily, in her usual fixer-state, insisted to go on with their earlier plans and go shopping with Aria, the two girls being the only ones left after Spencer had to leave for the hospital and Hanna left as well. They tried to convince her to stay with them, but Hanna declined, saying she needed time to rest and then figure out a way to tell her long-time boyfriend about her illness. She looked absolutely devastated as she exited the café, and her best friends found themselves standing behind and wishing for a miracle to get their friend out of the predicament she was reluctantly in.

Emily's eyes examined her friend's unsettled behavior from across the store, and she started wondering whether it really was such a good idea. She just wanted to lighten things up a little bit, make it about Aria and her pregnancy for a while. But Aria was too good of a friend to not let herself be distressed by the awful news they just got. Still, Emily was determined to make the most of the 30 or so minutes they had left before Aria had to go meet a client of hers.

Putting on the best smile she could muster, Emily made her way towards Aria, holding a soft stuffed giraffe in her hand. "Hey, look what I found," she held it up for her friend to see, "I know we don't know the sex yet, so I thought I'd wait with the clothes. Although I have a feeling it's going to be a boy!"

Aria's lips twitched up in a barely there half smile, and Emily's smile left her face.

"Aria," she reached to take the smaller girl's hand, "I know what Hanna told us is tough to digest. It's not every day your best friend tells you she's got a life-threatening disease. It's hard, and it's gonna get even harder. But right now, there's nothing we can do but be there for her when she needs us. Today, right now? It's not that time. Now she needs some time to herself, and we have to respect that and be patient and remember that life goes on around us, even if we don't want it to."

"Yes, but-"

"No Aria. Right now, and for the next 25 minutes, we're going to look around this fabulous store, and find some really cool things for little Peanut Fitz."

That made Aria smile widely, and she reached up with a single finger to wipe at her eye that was filled with tears. It was hard to enjoy and celebrate the life she was in the process of creating when her friend's life was so fragile and uncertain right now. "Thanks Emily," she spoke shakily, nodding once in appreciation of her friend's talent at always knowing what to say.

Emily replied by matching the smile on Aria's face, and wrapping one arm around her shoulder. "Now, let's go find your little Fitz a matching bed sheet. Hanna would appreciate the gesture." The two girls laughed and moved along the endless rows of shelves in search of the desired item.

* * *

><p>She could hear the ticking of the clock. God, she hated how loud it sounded in her ears. Her head was in her hands, and she just finished the third round of crying since she got home, already feeling a fresh new batch of tears ready to be shed.<p>

There was no easy way to tell him, she decided. And so the only thing she could think of doing is just sit on their white, pretty, hand-picked-by-her couch, and hope she wouldn't get it dirty with her mascara painted hands in her distracted state.

Just as she found enough strength in her to get up and wash her face before he gets home, the door to their apartment opened. The water was already running in the sink as her hands brushed down her face, and she could hear his footsteps as he strode though the living room to the open kitchen area. When she closed the tap, she heard the door to the fridge being opened, and by the time she stepped out of their bedroom with a still distressed, yet clean face, he was already sitting on the nearest bar stool, sipping on a bottle of water.

He almost choked when he suddenly noticed her stiff figure standing by the wall farthest away from him. "Hanna, baby, what are you doing home?" He sounded surprised, but a smile immediately came to his lips at the sight of her. "I thought you had an appointment with the PR consultant for the NYC branch."

It took her a minute to reply. She wondered when she'll ever see her handsome Caleb's face light up like this again. She knew that from the moment she told him, everything would change. Every conversation would be about her cancer, every fight would be over insurance and medical care payments, and every time he would look at her would feel like the last time. "Han? You okay?"

His eyebrows furrowed together and a puzzled look came over his face as he got up from his seat, ready to go to her if the answer was negative.

She shook her head slowly as she approached the kitchen island, coming to stand across from him, on the other side of it. It made her feel a little less worried about his reaction, she felt it provided her with another layer of comfort, adding to her arms that wrapped around her ribcage. "Yeah.. no, that was yesterday." Her tired voice sounded, and she could swear she saw him flinch from the corner of her eye when he heard the way she said it.

When she lifted her eyes to meet his, she saw his mouth opening, as if to say something, and she knew that if he started talking, about whatever, she'd lose the courage she worked so hard to build, so she just let it spill out. "Remember the doctor's appointment I had a couple of weeks ago?" His first nod was enough to get her to continue, "It turns out the results are quite.. uh, well, bad." Her fingers caressed up and down her arms in an attempt to get warm, she felt so cold all of a sudden; maybe it was the fear at his body moving slowly towards her side of the island. "It turns out that, well.. I'm sick, and it's not good at all. And I need surgery, and then I'll need chemotherapy, and radiation," the wetness on her cheeks disappeared when a thumb touched up to wipe it away. "And it's going to be painful, and I'll need to rest a lot, and uh.. I'm going to lose my hair…" Her face clinched up when a sob took over her body, and she felt his hand cup the wet skin and turn her in his direction. Her eyes closed when she couldn't fight his hold any longer, trying to put off meeting his eyes. She knew they'd be broken. She knew they'd be tearful. And she couldn't bear the thought she was doing this to him.

"Princess…" She couldn't resist his favorite nickname for her, and her blue eyes stared into his brown ones. She was right: the heartache in his eyes did mirror hers. "I.. I don't know what to say. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. And I wish with all my heart that I could take it away from you, because, God, I will if I could," he sniffed before continuing. "I don't know what's going to happen, I don't know how lucky we would be, I don't know if you.. if.. you'd still be here.. when everything is done. But I know one thing: I'm not going to leave your side, not for a moment. I'm here, and we're going to do this together. We're going to fight together, and we're going to do everything we can to win." She couldn't help but notice how careful he was with his promises, and her sobs grew heavier. He didn't want to promise things he couldn't keep, because neither of them knew how the next few months would leave her.

"Caleb…" The anguish in her sounded when she spoke his name in such a way that he couldn't translate it to anything other than "please save me!" And his heart broke, because he knew he couldn't. He gave up all attempts at trying to appear strong for her, because she could see right through him, and he just didn't have it in him to pretend. So he let the tears slide down his cheeks as his forehead came to rest against hers, and she sneaked her arms around his torso. Her hold on him was so tight, and he knew it was her way to plead with him to not let her go. Despite the sobs that wrecked her body, he needed to show her how much he loved her; he needed her to know that even though their world turned upside down, she was still the woman he loved, and he was still the man that swore to always protect her. So he brought their faces closer together, and kissed her passionately, not minding the salty tears that got in the way. Nothing would keep him away from her, not ever.

* * *

><p>When Spencer got off from her shift in the hospital and arrived home, Toby was already there, sprawled on the couch, surrounded by books and notes, with the TV on, the volume low. He always studied like that, his reasoning being he "needed the background noise". Whenever she offered he'd listen to radio or to classical music – like she did – he shot her a ridiculous look and replied that it "wasn't the same thing". Then they would go on to her needing a reasonable explanation to why it wasn't, and him being unable to explain. For the following hour, he would get frustrated at her for not understanding, and she would give him the silent treatment with the occasional mumbling of "freaky idiot" or "so weird" or something like that. Eventually the night would end in both of them watching TV together, most likely a late night talk show, laughing together at the jokes and having amazing "unofficial" (according to her definition) makeup sex.<p>

But today was different. And he could feel it the moment she set foot inside the apartment. Skipping the usual "how was your shift?" question, he observed her from afar as she moved swiftly in the kitchen, setting her bag on the counter before reaching into the cabinet under the sink and pulling out cleaning supplies. When he realized what was happening, his eyes widened, and he left the books in favor of coming over to stand by the counter with his arms crossed. He looked on worriedly as she put on a pair of rubber gloves and started scrubbing the surface around the sink. He stood there, trying to assess the situation and wondering just how bad she had it, when she pulled out something that had him worrying even more: a grease stains remover – the hardcore edition. She always used to complain how no product helped with the really bad stains that wouldn't come off, so she decided to create one on her own, using chemicals from the hospital's lab. To this day he doesn't know how they let her go home with something so powerful and potentially dangerous.

"So.." he dared speaking quietly, "you wanna tell me what happened?" To be honest, he wasn't sure he wanted her to. Just from looking at her, cleaning the kitchen in such a frenzy state, he knew something had to be horribly wrong, and it scared him shitless. If something happened to her, he'd lose his sanity… He never would've guessed what she was about to tell him next.

A sniff came from her, and he immediately straightened up, wanting to march over and wrap his arms around her, but he knew better than to do something so impulsive when she was like this, so he remained in his place, staring at her back as she worked along the granite surface.

"Hanna has stage 3 breast cancer. She's got surgery scheduled for Thursday, and then a combined treatment of chemo and radiation. I was thinking maybe you could take over her case, I know she'd feel better having you around and making sure they're.. not cutting off her breast completely. I know she's worried about that." Reaching up to wipe her face with her bare forearm, she could now feel him behind her, not doing anything but standing close to her. Composing herself, she continued scrubbing and jumped right back into her professional-mode. "I'm going to take the day shifts, and you'll be there for the night. Caleb would probably not leave her side, so you could keep him company in case he's too worried to sleep." A warm hand came to rest in her shoulder, but that didn't make her any less determined to clean the non-existent stains. "Aria is pregnant, by the way, so we'd have to keep her away from Hanna once she starts radiation treatments. I'm assuming that due to her condition they'd want to use the type that stays longer in her body, so we'd have to figure out a schedule for Ariasitting and Hannasitting. We'll figure it out once we know the course of action her doctor wants to take and how long it'll be for."

"Spence-"

"I also want to review all the papers. I know it's your job, and I'm not saying you shouldn't do it, but I want to go over her file as well, make sure we're not missing anything. If something unexpected happens, I want to know about it. I wanna see her test results and I'll ask to personally monitor her recovery post-surgery."

"Baby, I-"

"Oh, and talk to your friend at Psych, I want her to see someone once she's recovered. It's gonna take a lot out of her, and as much as we're all willing to listen and support her, you know how she is, very guarded and closed off about her feelings. I imagine it'll be horrible for her to open up to us in such a vulnerable state…"

"Spencer Michelle Hastings, please shut the fuck up." His foul language made her look up, and just like that, her hand ceased to move. She looked at him with an incredulous look, as if expecting him to take it back. But he just looked at her with big compassionate eyes and reached for her hands, ridding them of the gloves. He set the rubber set aside, and turned back to her, opening his arms to offer her a safe place to land. She blinked robotically at first, but the wetness that gathered in her hazel orbs completely gave her away. He could see panic in them, and helplessness. And he knew the only way she knew to protect herself from the fear of the unknown was to take control, which she did through the plans she just made for all of them.

He waited patiently as she contemplated her options in her mind, and let a weak smile come on his features, hoping it was enough to reassure her it was okay to let go. She finally did, and as she clutched onto his shirt with such a tight grip, he knew it was safe to wrap his arms around her.

He kissed the top of her head softly, breathing in the scent of her shampoo and closing his eyes when he felt an unfamiliar wetness sipping through the fabric of his shirt. "Shhh, it's okay baby. We'll do everything we can. We'll get her the best doctors and the best treatments with the best odds, and everything will be okay. I promise, sweetheart."

She let out a sigh and felt her heart pounding a little slower now. She felt more relaxed now that he said it – because he always kept his promises.


End file.
